25 Oct

The Yin & Yang of Procrastination – Why procrastination is not always bad…

Many years ago during my coach training I remember a critical moment when I realised that procrastination isn’t simply a negative thing… it can be positive too.

One of my learning leaders made a comment that has stuck with me ever since. It put a positive spin on procrastination, which I had previously thought of as an entirely negative ting.  He said…

‘procrastination is just your subconscious telling you that you haven’t got enough information yet to make the decision…’

This simple comment changed my life.  I realised in that moment that I wasn’t lazy or dim in my procrastination (which had been my underling belief until then)…  I was simply being true to myself.  I didn’t have all the pieces of the puzzle in place, so I wouldn’t decide to move.

It is often hard to know the ‘right’ thing to do, but as I have experimented with this in the ensuing years I have begun to really trust my instincts and listen to my intuition a great deal more.  I find that when I am ‘striving’ to make the ‘right’ decision it can be very difficult, but when I trust, relax, be patient, mindful and let my subconscious deal with it I can stop procrastinating and move forward.  The pieces can fall into place… they may not yet, and that is fine too.

What do you need to let go of to move forward?

Maybe nothing, maybe the only thing you need to do is not judge yourself for not being ready yet.

Let the pieces fall into place when they are ready…

08 Aug

The Magic of Coaching Continues to Impress – My Personal Story

I have been through a rough patch lately, but thankfully I am now through to the other side… and can tell you about it… partly because I think it helps to share these stories, but partly too because in this world, as adults we often expect ourselves to be perfect… but we are not. We are human and therefore perfectly imperfect…

Wonderfully I had a coaching session with Kristen (my coach) a few weeks ago and lots of good things have come from it.  The session gave me a good dose of an alternative perspective and a chance to reflect on the journey I have been on for the past year.

I usually have a coaching session each month, but Kristen has been a bit busy lately; five months ago she had a beautiful baby boy and we had lost touch for a while.  I hadn’t wanted to bother her, remembering how intense, amazing and exhausting the first few months of being a Mum can be… I also thought, ‘I should be able to handle this…’ but I was wrong… this one coaching session made a huge difference.

We all have ups and downs, and sometimes just when you think you have a handle on life – a little voice of uncertainty can creep in…why aren’t things working the way I want them to?  What have I really got to offer? Why don’t I get asked for job interviews?  Why don’t I fit in to what employers are looking for?  Why did I spend all those years studying to be looking at doing this?  Things can swirl around in our heads and we can become paralysed with fear of making the wrong decision as self-doubt creeps in…

Trusting that the right opportunity will present itself in time is a difficult thing…  How do you hold your nerve?  What allows us to say yes to something that we feel in our heart to be the wrong direction? It is doubt?  Doubt that we are good enough? Doubt that we know enough? Doubt that we are worthy?… Berne Brown says

“Overcoming self-doubt is all about believing we’re enough and letting go of what the world says we’re supposed to be and supposed to call ourselves.”
― Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are

Change and transitions for parents, is want I have been writing and thinking about for years now…  But even with my years of training as a coach and researching why change and transition has us tying ourselves in knots I still managed to tie myself in knots! Thankfully I have Kristen to turn to when things get tough.

It has been almost a year since Ardyn, my youngest son started high school. Even going into this change with my eyes wide open I have still had a challenging time trying to make sense of what was next for me.  In a flurry of activity in the last part of 2017 I opened to possibilities of what my next direction might be.  With Kristen’s help  I let go of writing blogs and trying to get workshops filled and put my energies into finding what was next…  Through this I found myself considering options that I had previously shied away from, retail, full time 9-5 work, any number of positions that I had not considered for years. This process, although often deeply challenge, has also allowed me to feel a freedom I haven’t experienced for a long time…   This process has led me in some new and exciting directions!

I am excited to announce that the result of moving through my ‘rough patch’ I have been able to realign my values and now alongside my work within Your New Wings – Life Coaching, I am now:

Director and Co-Founder of Enhanced Relocation, where my very talented business partner Linda Spencer and I offer a new way for families to relocate and integrate into the Heart of England. We would love your thoughts on what we have created! Check out www.enhancedrelocation.com  Any and all feedback very welcome…

Lead Coach at Teen Direct, where a team of experienced coaches provides career coaching for 13 – 19 year olds to empower and build the confidence of our young people. Teen Direct is the teenage component of the local company Career Seekers Direct the inspired creation of Eva Harrison who has been developing it over the past 5 years. www.teendirect.biz

An Independent Consultant for Neal’s Yard Remedies Organic, a multi award-winning English wellbeing and beauty company whose environmental and ethical values are closely aligned with mine. This allows me to offer trusted, ethical, gorgeous products to families to enhance wellbeing not just for themselves, but for the planet… uk.nyrorganic.com/shop/tina/ 

I have recently learnt a new word.  Multipreneur… I guess that is what I am…  Human, imperfect and a work in progress, as we all are…

This whole experience has highlighted to me what I have always believed.  We all need a coach… Coaching is an almost magical experience where we get to choose who we want to be and get supported to create that in reality.  The journey is not a straight line, more like a 3D scribble!

Soon I will be updating my landing page for Your New Wings to better reflect the range of  what I do.  And remember, our journeys are not straight lines, but more of a scribble.  Adding coaching is like adding magic.

Who do you want to be?

xx Tina

27 Aug

Does Life Coaching Really Work?

Great question – I was sceptical in the beginning too…

So I want to share with you some research about coaching and its effectiveness.

Life coaching is still a relatively new field, and there is plenty to be sceptical about. To someone who has never heard of life coaching, or barely knows what a life coach is and does, the benefits and possibilities can sound a little far-fetched at first.

The truth is there are millions of people who feel stuck, unhappy, lost, confused and lacking confidence. Lets face it; we have all felt this way at various times in our lives.

Thanks to a study from the International Coaching Federation (ICF), there are plenty of statistics that prove the effectiveness of coaching. For example, here are 4 benefits identified by clients from an ICF survey:

  1. 80% of clients improved their self-confidence
  2. 73% of clients improved their relationships
  3. 72% of clients improved their communication skills
  4. 67% of clients improved their work-life balance

The following infographic shows that coaching not only works, but can totally transform your life!

Does-Life-Coaching-Really-Work-Tom-Casano-900

 

27 Mar

Thanks Lee: Fasting – Now I get it!

On Saturday I was lucky enough to attend a book launch at Oken’s Kitchen in Warwick (Warwickshire, United Kingdom) organised by Warwick Books.

Lee Homes came to talk to us about her new book ‘Fast your way to Wellness’ and demonstrate some recipes from her book.

Lee Homes Book - March 2017

Lee is Australian, as I am, but until a few days ago I hadn’t heard of her or her work. So when my friend Katherine suggested we go to the launch I checked out her website www.superchargedfood.com

Here I was introduced to Lee’s philosophy and her work with food. It was very refreshing as I discovered it to be very inline with my own values and beliefs. Whole foods cooked from scratch, simple, fresh and made with love. Healing for the gut and the soul as preparing food is once again approached with mindfulness and gratitude. Very much the food ethos I grew up with on our farm in South Gippsland (Victoria, Australia).

Meeting Lee I discover a lovely, laidback Aussie who is living a wholehearted life with wholefoods. Through her own health struggles Lee found her way to health again through wholefoods. Lee certainly knows her stuff, and was able to fill in a number of blanks for me so that I now have a better understanding of how fasting works and how it is really good for your body.

My understanding of fasting has changed too. I thought fasting meant going without food, but apparently you can eat 500 Calories on your fasting days! And with Lee’s new recipe book to give some amazing ideas about what those 500 calories might look like. Lee helped dispel my fear of being hungry all the time (the main reason I have put off embracing it wholeheartedly for so long).

So for me today is my first official fasting day…

Peppermint & Liquorice tea before the school run kept the hunger away.

 My workout at 9am – before breakfast, unheard of for me as that mantra of “must have breakfast – it’s the most important meal of the day” always plays in my head. Right there – an underlying belief that I can just give the boot, after 46 years!

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Breakfast at 11am – Orange and Cinnamon Buckwheat Porridge (p119)

I used several of Lee’s tricks to ignore the hunger pangs and then it was…

 Lunch at 2pm – leftover ginger stir fry from Friday nights dinner (Not Lee’s recipe – but one of my favorites).

Dinner at 6pm – I’m planning the Vegie Nori Wraps (p250) to which I will add some sausages and maybe mash to keep the 3 boys in my house happy (but which I can skip).

So begins the first day of the rest of my fasting life. Two days of extra mindful eating (that makes more sense to me than ‘fasting’) will allow me to eat mindfully for the rest of the week and not feel guilty or like I have to count calories on those other five days. Sounds great to me!

Thanks Lee for your inspiration, and your recipe book. I look forward to trying the rest of the recipes!

Have a fastastic day!

Tina

Related post My Autumn Harvest Soup

26 Sep

My Autumn harvest soup

Feeding my family…

Feeding my soul…

My Autumn harvest soup…

It is Autumn in the UK and yesterday I was exploring what I need to do with my garden in this new phase. In contemplating this I found myself drawn to deeply connect with nurturing my family and celebrating what we have managed to grow over the summer months. I reflected on how, in our modern life, we have come to be so removed from the process of growing what we eat. My grandparents on their dairy farm were almost totally self sufficient, and we today as a family are not.

I have a garden as a hobby. I love to be connected to the earth and the pulse of life. It slows me down, it helps to keep me sane…but at best what I grow is a supplement for what we buy in to eat. I realised I wanted to see what it was like to eat only what we have grown and thus created our Autumn harvest soup…

Collecting items and preparing our soup was a hugely grounding and humbling experience. It was a meditation that brought a deep appreciation for and gratitude towards those earlier generations who were deeply rooted in the earth and spend a large proportion of their lives simply putting food on the table.

Our family all enjoyed our soup dinner last night…the only ingredients not from our garden were…the salt … and the butter…

With ease and joy

Tina