When you understand something well yourself it is much easier to explain it to your kids.
Kids are naturally inquisitive and curious. It’s their job. If you have had a 3 year old you will have vivid memories of many ‘but why’ moments… Some of these moments extremely amusing – others infuriating! And it doesn’t stop there, our kids are often asking us questions, to work out how the world works. This gives us a great opportunity to help our kids to grow and accept change.
As I have mentioned in previous posts, our youngest son Ardyn finished primary school in July and his life has changed. He has now almost finished his first month of high school and it has been intriguing to follow this change. If you have a child going through a similar change then you will know all about the wonderings, the visioning, the trying to imagine with them what life will be like during this exciting next phase. And when it arrives – the excitement and the uncertainty as they become accustom to this new ‘normal’. We have been there ourselves, but for many of us it was a long time ago, (I just did the math and it is 35 years ago for me!) and often, in vastly different circumstances (different country, different school, different curriculum, different expectations). At these times I notice that what helps me most to assist our sons in these situations is my understanding of the process of change.
Having experience change many times in my life, having trained as a trainer, a facilitator and a coach I have had the wonderful opportunity to really come to grips with change – what it really means. I have some great insights for you.
When we understand the change process, we can do things that we know will help our children to adjust. Understanding the phases of change, why it is exciting and scary at the same time, what is normal, in which phase of change they need extra time to adjust. Being able to explain this to our children in a confident way helps them too understand change, and will build their resilience for the many inevitable changes yet to come it their lives. Teaching them how to navigate change and thrive is a priceless gift.
Thinking about change, about Ardyn, and about my clients I have been inspired to create a Mini Family Guide to Change – The 5 Keys to Families Embracing Change – which I am giving to you for free.
It is designed to help families no matter what change they are facing, moving, death of a loved one, divorce, a child starting nursery, primary school, high school, university, leaving home. You name it change is everywhere…
Here is a summary of the Keys:
Key 1 – Understanding that change is:
- Often challenging
- Helps us grow
Key 2 – Understanding the magnitude of change & that this is different for every member of the family.
Key 3 – Understanding the ‘Ending’ stage;
- Often the most painful
- Difficult to ‘let go’ because familiar is comfortable
- We move through a grieving process
- Important to say goodbye
- Must let go to successfully move on
Key 4 – Understanding the ‘Transitional’ stage;
- The old is gone, the new is unknown and you are in-between – it feels strange
- A time to nurture self
- Do something to feel in control
- This is the awkward phase
Key 5 – Understanding the ‘New Beginning’ stage;
- High energy
- Requires patience
- Take small steps to build your new identity
- Try new things
- Embrace this opportunity for growth
- It can sometimes feel lonely
- It may take longer than you want it to take
Grab your copy of my Free Mini Family Guide to Change here to begin your journey of greater understanding, which will enrich your whole family.
Yours in parenting and with joy